Medical Lab Coats

Disposable Lab Coats & Medical Lab Coats Source

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1. #1Avi @ 2010-10-13 21:27

   Hey!
   Well, I've read over it and grammatically, it's proficient. Just a couple of things:
   explained, “beating – Capital letter to beating.
   I peddle through my suburban two story – for a bicycle, it's "pedal" and "pedalled". Also, it should be "two-storey".
   curve ball after camp,” – should be a full stop, not a comma.

   And there's just a couple of suggestions I have:
   Rather than "my mom, sister and me", why not try "our family"?
   And rather than "the lot", try "it"?

   That's about everything. One final thing: I'm working on a novel myself, and I'm just concerned that this is a little short, perhaps 800 words. It's just worth saying that, depending on the number of chapters you want to have, it'll end up a short story rather than a novel.

   That's everything! Good job so far, and best of luck with the rest!

2. #2Serene E @ 2010-11-4 03:24

   It doesn't sound like you're being bullied. It actually sounds like you are getting into fights. Just try to avoid fighting, but if someone is attacking you and trying to hurt you, you should defend yourself with the karate. Use it only in self – defense though. Don't start any fights on purpose.

3. #3Avi @ 2010-11-4 21:10

   Hey!
   Well, I've read over it and grammatically, it's proficient. Just a couple of things:
   explained, “beating – Capital letter to beating.
   I peddle through my suburban two story – for a bicycle, it's "pedal" and "pedalled". Also, it should be "two-storey".
   curve ball after camp,” – should be a full stop, not a comma.

   And there's just a couple of suggestions I have:
   Rather than "my mom, sister and me", why not try "our family"?
   And rather than "the lot", try "it"?

   That's about everything. One final thing: I'm working on a novel myself, and I'm just concerned that this is a little short, perhaps 800 words. It's just worth saying that, depending on the number of chapters you want to have, it'll end up a short story rather than a novel.

   That's everything! Good job so far, and best of luck with the rest!

4. #4Ryan @ 2010-12-17 16:24

   fight back if hes is asking for it fight back